On Top of the World

The Beginning:

The radio goes off at 2:13 in the morning. ” Hudson Fire Base to all Hudson Fire Monitors” “Working structure fire 240 N. Main Street” I jump out of bed, speed up to the department, put on my turn out gear, and load a firetruck. We arrive, and see fire coming from the first and second floor. My crew was assigned interior attack 1, and head in to find the basement. I was third off the nozzle in charge of shagging the hose around the corners. At that point we knew everyone was out of the house and the fire was most present in the basement. We found the basement stairwell and worked our way down. We extinguished the fire in the basement and worked our way back up. Meanwhile the 2nd and 3rd crew were already working on the fire upstairs. The fire was out within 20 minutes of us arriving. Man were we pumped. My crew exited the dwelling, pealed off our turn out gear and STUFFED OUR LIPS WITH DIP. Awww yes…the fun of being a firefighter is you get to dip too. Man I thought I was cool. There we stood, in the front yard of a house we just saved with a dip in our lips. Man we were cool.
Or were we…

I had been dipping for 7 years. As far as I can remember the first dip I had was at the fire department. It was weird. It fell apart in my mouth. I dry heaved. Some of it got on my ear. WTF?? How could anyone enjoy this? How could this be fun? How could I have continued for 7 years without realizing what I’m actually doing. It’s sad that dipping is normal in the Fire world. How something so deadly could be so normal in Stations around the US.

The Quit:

Sure I quit a couple times. There was that one week I was puking my brains out from the flu. I didn’t have a dip for five days and thought..hmmm I can quit. I’ve already gone five days. Well at the end of day six I ended up in the same place. The BP Gas Station picking up a Wolf Wintergreen Long Cut.

From there I found this site. I coasted in via Google and was intrigued. This might be want I need. Sure my wife could provide me support, but not the support I needed to kill the can. She just doesn’t understand what an addiction is like. The kind of support I needed was all tied up on this site. Everything from the Chat, to the guys, to SamCat. Yeah, this was the place where I would finally quit dipping, for life.

I was pumped. A site that has a motto of Brotherhood, Accountability and Success. A site that demands you post roll everyday. And Good God Man, if you miss one day you get the shit kicked out of you. Honestly that’s why I’m still here. I’m afraid to leave. But really, its the thug mentality of the site that keeps you coming back.

The first time I entered chat I had a dip in my lip. BIG F-IN MISTAKE. Wow, I thought to myself, I don’t need to take this crap from these people. But why didn’t I leave? Instead I took my dip out and threw it away. In fact they convinced me to not wait till tomorrow morning to quit but to quit at that very moment. HOLY CRAP, what am I doing. What I was doing was saving my life. As instructed from KD4jet I took all of my dip out of the house and dumped it out. I actually took it a step further and poured motor oil over it so I was sure not to go garbage diving later for a quick fix. I stood at that garbage can for a moment and said a prayer. I asked to Lord to help me overcome the evil that has haunted my mouth for many years. My quit date was September 11th.

The Fog was bad but disappeared. I know it will be back to haunt me. The Nic Bitch is always lurking around the corner trying to catch you at your worst. You just have to be the bigger person. I am truly happy for my decision. I have a new baby at home. Grace was born 4/9/2009. I have a beautiful Wife who has been there for me. She has powered through my mood swings and faults and has supported me in any way she could. I am Dedicating my HOF to both of them. Amy and Grace, for making me the happiest man in the world.

The End of the Beginning:

Finally I want to speak to you personally. First off I’m sorry you are in the same position I am. You would not be here reading my HOF Speech if your life was not altered by Nic. I have only myself to blame for putting that first pinch in. It was my choice to start dipping as it’s my choice to quit dipping. There are many different ways to quit dipping, but this was the best for me. I am happy that I am Nic free. My wife is happy that I’m Nic free. I know my Daughter is happy I’m Nic free. Do yourself a favor and make it your duty to pay it forward. Help show someone who puts that junk in their mouth this board. Encourage your friends to quit and be involved in their quit. Thank you to the December Quitters and Supporters. We had a lot of fun our first 100 days together. Lets stay as tight as we are and continue to be there for each other.

God Bless
~Dan

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member hfd2049