One Day at a Time – Ever Vigilant

The last 100 days have been a wild ride. High and lows, good days and bad, rage and calm. The first few days were longer than I ever imagined that days could be. There was some intense fog early on. It really sucked. And I deserved every minute of it for being stupid enough to start this habit in the first place.

My story is like many others here – started in high school, occasionally. Fully hooked by my early twenties. I think I first tried “quitting” by throwing my half-full can of chew out my window at midnight of new year’s eve 1995. I also remember digging it out of a snow pile the next morning to have one more chew, and of course, fail at my quit. I repeated this ritual pretty much every new year. I also quit when I moved from Pennsylvania to Arizona , when I got married, when my son was born, when my daughter was born and multiple other times when I temporarily realized how stupid my habit was.

I made the ridiculous mistake on some of my longer “quits” to think I had it kicked and have the celebratory chew. Then I’d continue to have another one or two each day, and it was ok because I was quit, I wasn’t a dipper anymore, I was just having an occasional dip. The nic bitch is really good at helping you rationalize such things.

One October night while sitting around with a big fatty in my lip wondering why I was still doing this after more than 20 years, I searched the internet for information on how to quit chewing. I was thinking maybe the patch or gum would work for me. Fortunately for me, I stumbled across this site. I never would have thought that a website would be able to help me quit. That seemed like a ridiculous idea to me. If I couldn’t quit on my own, how could a bunch of strangers help? Nevertheless, I read everything and less than 24 hours later, had my last dip. The following morning I posted day 1 and the rest is history.

Well, I’m not going to try to analyze all the reasons this has worked for me, because it really doesn’t matter, the bottom line is, I post roll everyday, and I stay quit. Nothing else has ever worked for me, but for whatever reason this does.

For anyone thinking of quitting here’s what this site has taught me:

Quit now. It will never be any easier.
Realize that it will suck. Embrace it.
Don’t try, hope, or wish. Just do it and commit to it.
Once you get through the first 3 days, you never have to do it again. As long as you stay quit.
Quit for today only. Repeat.
Never underestimate the nic bitch.

I am so thankful to no longer be a slave to the can. To have more time for my family. To no longer be a liar. To be good role model for my kids. To no longer give donations to the tobacco industry. Thanks to everyone who has helped me get this far. I could never repay all of my quit brothers and supporters for the gift you’ve given me. I feel like I’ve come a long way, but I’ve got the rest of my life ahead of me. Nicotine-free. One day at a time. Ever vigilant.

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member buckshanks