One For the Ages

First HOF speech in my life and pretty pumped. (Lights cut out in the stadium, que ‘Thunderstruck’ by ACDC, followed by lasers going everywhere. The crowd starts chatting “Thunder!” All of sudden a beam of light shines at the top of the stadium, where I am and where I start to zip line down over the crowd. Fireworks are blasting as I descend down, while I’m tossing out sunflower seeds and gum packages to the fans below. I safely land on the stage, unhook myself and immediately start running around like Chris Farley. The crowd is loving it and people are now chanting ‘Dip Sucks!’ I cannot control my excitement, and just jump into the crowd and start crowd surfing. I eventually make it back on stage and immediately do the worm followed by a horrible looking cartwheel. I start to calm myself down and take the microphone and motion to the crowd to silence their applause. After a good 2-3 minutes of trying to silence them, the stadium is finally all mine. I turn around and look at myself on one of the jumbo trons behind me….and just laugh and smile…..I hesitate for a few seconds)

My fellow non-dippers, my band of brothers and sisters, you did not come here to listen to me speak, you came here to continue to support every person past, present, or in the future to make sure they live a life free of Dip! (crowd erupts)

You all have helped me quit, especially all my January boys, and specifically Closet and Booradley, I cannot think you enough! I leave you with this final thought.

SAN DIMOS HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL RULES! (Crowd erupts, GREEN DAY storms the stage and rocks the rest of the night. As for myself, I disappear into my new family, the tight knit community of quitters and vow to live my life dip free, just like them.)

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member thomarti