One Truth – Your Reason For Quitting

One small detail that has made all the difference. I remember dipping and wanting to quit. I mean REALLY wanting to quit. Fear of cancer wanting to quit, pray to God wanting to quit, try anything wanting to quit. Wife crying begging me to quit, kids spitting on the ground to be like Daddy wanting to quit.

I’d feel the desire to quit and remember previous attempts. A day, a week, 6 months. I would laugh at myself because I was so stupid. How could I hate something having so much power over me, get free of it, then forget I hated it, miss it , go back, and restart the cycle.

One Truth – A promise to myself

No matter what happened, if I could ever break free again, I would remember how bad I wanted to quit. I lose the fear of addiction from time to time, I tell myself secrets about a dip or a smoke , I forget a lot of the struggle to get here, But I clearly remember my promise made in a moment of clarity. If I could want to free myself of something so bad when I had it, then I know that wanting it when I have successfully gained my freedom is addiction and not truth. The simple memory of my desire to stop works on all my lies like a shield.

Hold onto something, your reason for quitting, the emotion behind it. Write it down. There may come a day where you forget you’re an addict, a day where you think one won’t hurt, a day where you believe you can quit again at will. On that day you will need to remember how bad you wished you never tried it, how hard it was to gather the strength to quit, how much you hated the control it had on you, how much you wished , prayed, begged, and pleaded to get quit. If you can tap into that you’ll never look back, no matter what your inner addict whispers in your ear.

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan community member Skoal Monster