Randall’s HOF Speech – I Am a Nicotine Addict
I am a nicotine addict. I chose to put that weed in my mouth many times every day for 8 years before I finally grew a pair and jumped into this quit head first. During those years I had several low points and things I am not proud of. I think it is important to reflect on the shameful points as a reminder of not only of the freedoms I gave up for the nasty habit, but also as a reminder of the many positive changes this quit has brought to my life.
My fiend for nicotine was so strong I chose not to (thought I was unable to) go two hours without a dip at work. I am a teacher and usually teach in two hour blocks. I would ninja dip and gut the spit at work every day. How sad is that? On occasions I forgot to grab a spitter before leaving the house, while driving or riding in the car with my wife, I would open the door at stoplights and let out massive gushes of spit. Between lights, my mouth would get so full of that shit I couldn’t even hold a conversation with her. Again ridiculous and humiliating. I learned from the dentist that I only had about a millimeter or two of gum line left where I packed that shit on the regular. Even this was not enough to get me serious about quitting. I had two stoppages prior to my quit here with KTC. The longest of the stoppages lasted a month. However, one stressful day was all it took to buy another tin and pick up a tin a day habit.
I wanted to quit, I knew I needed to quit for many reasons. I just couldn’t seem to get myself in the right mindset to man up and fight through it on my own. I learned of KTC and checked it out for a while before I finally joined. Here I am now at day 136 and adding +1’s one day at a time. Having my freedom back is the number one benefit of being quit. I no longer live my life between dips. I am more healthy, my wife and family are happy, I am more professional at work, and have gained confidence that I can overcome just about anything. Quitting nic is one of the hardest things to be done. We are all BAMF’s for doing so.
For the new quitters who might read this, you may be thinking “Ok. You quit. Good for you. How do I know I can do this? How did you do it? What worked for you? I remember feeling that way when I was reading posts on KTC before I joined.
For this reason, I compiled a list of things that have worked for me through this point in my quit:
- I wanted to quit. I wanted it for myself #1.
- I read as much as I could on the KTC philosophy, what to expect, success stories, etc.
- I reached out immediately to experienced quitters and anyone available in live chat for guidance, advice, and to rage.
- I ate a lot of ice cream the first week (haha)
- I bought in to the KTC formula (brotherhood + accountability = success) by getting active on here with my quit group, in live chat, wild card, etc.
- I had a plan for oral replacement. I bought lots of gum, jolly ranchers, and sunflower seeds.
- I fought the craves, the fog, and the illusion that having just one would be alright. I fought hard every damn second of every damn day. It slowly got easier.
- I tried to stay as positive as I could through the hard times.
- In my quit group I got as many digits as possible, supported my brothers, and held them accountable. I am the annoying guy in the group that sends text messages telling guys to get their asses on roll
- When times got tough in our quit groups, I learned from many badass quitters the importance of being able to take as much of the good I could get from KTC and to leave the rest
- Posting support for, checking in on new quitters, and getting to know them (i.e. over the phone or in live chat)
There is no way in hell I would be where I am today without the help and support of so many quitters on this site, my wife, and family. I apologize in advance for forgetting any supporters I may leave out. I want to personally thank vets like Beast, Cando, Raider, Razd, Castle, Franny, Medic, Okie, and Tuco to name a few. Also, our badass train conductors Grievous Angel and Pre. Quitters from other groups like Shanesaw, ChickDip, LJT, DrewDrew, AngryAsh, Bucky, and many more.
To all of my brother Goons, you guys made and continue to make this experience great! Dano, JKE, Vad, Cor, Sig, Talon, have personally taken the time to get to know me and work together to make June15 what it is…a total badass group. 31 consecutive days of 100% roll. Enough said right there. I look forward to continuing to post +1’s with you well into the future. We are not cured.
NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member Randall