Sanity Is Possible

I came to KTC with a disappointed wife, an ashamed 55 yr old man, kicking the can down the road like a 10 year old boy, now 100 totally free of nicotine. My thanks go to Ed, OmahaFlyer, JayD41, and others who walked me through the worst of the worst of the suck. the anxiety, impending doom and crazies, have now settled into living life on life’s terms again..

in terms of “chew-a-logue”, “nic-o-logue”.. Mine it pretty simple.

I had been free of nicotine from 1989 to 2002, when my wife and i were having marital issues. since i am a recovering alcoholic, a small stogie was the lessor of evils. I picked up a stogie, then another, and it lead to a can of grizzly because of the stealth capability of dipping.I was a stealth dipper. More on then off for the last 11 years. We have gone on vacation and i did so without my former vacation super-stealth fix, (oliver twist wintergreen plugs). Now I am off, and God willing i intend to stay that way.

My attitude about life is different. Like booze, weed, cocaine, i can’t use nicotine in any form. PERIOD. My serenity depends on my relationships in AA and on KTC. KTC is step one in a chain of my recovery. I am dependent on a power greater than my self for true freedom from these substances.

100 days ago, i had no serenity, today it has returned, and my life is good.

in AA I am over 27 years sober, but, i am a newcomer (rebounder) in recovery from nicotine, and like booze, I will take it a day at a time. Turning it over to the God of my understanding.

I had a lot of concerns (fears) before i quit.. Fear of getting found out, fear of health issues, the usual crapola. these fears are gone.

For noobs, if you can’t shit. Guess what that is normal. it takes time for bowels, mouth, mind and spirit to heal.

Today I don’t crave it. Like it did with booze. Sanity is returning. By the grace of God, I am sober today, and free of drugs including nicotine. My 1st quit with nicotine hadn’t been with the full notion of addiction as it was with booze. Now for me there is NO difference.

I can’t use it. Period.

Thanks for the 100 days.

I couldn’t imagine 100 days on May 6, 2013, like i couldn’t imagine 27 years on January, 6th of 1986 when i quit booze, cocaine, and weed. But I will say it is not only possible, but it has happened. I will take another 24 hours.

If you see this and relate and need a phone number. Send me a message with your phone number. I will call you back. Why do i do that? because some one did it for me.

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member nebraskadad58