Smith686 – a QUIT Ninja Dipper
I’m a few days late on my HOF speech. It’s partly due to the fact that I’m working a ton of hours at work, and partly because I’ve been having a hard time figuring out how to structure my speech. I’m not exactly a linguist or a philosopher, so there won’t be any earth shattering metaphors, analogies, similes, etc.
If you want to know how it all got started, that is, me with the dreaded “nic bitch” and my journey as a ninja dipper, it can be read in my intro:
https://ktcforum.org/index.php?topic=12525.0
Furthermore, I could also copy/paste just about every other ninja-dipper’s story and call it my own.
As I mentioned in my intro, I had some scares with weird feelings/sensations in my mouth throat. That started in June 2015. That’s when I initially found KTC. I did some reading and had the crap scared out of me even more, and I thought it was too hard-core for me. Ultimately, I wasn’t ready to admit I had a problem, and I wasn’t ready to man-up to attack my addiction head-on. Then in December 2015, my closest aunt, who had just beaten a year long bout with cancer (unrelated to tobacco use) got the dreaded news that it was back, and with a vengeance. I went to visit her a few times in the hospital, and she was going fast. It was not easy to witness, and all I could think about was “I can’t let my kids or wife go through this if something happened to me”. So I got serious and joined KTC and quit 3/15/16. We lost my aunt 16 days later.
Regarding the quit itself: I joined around 3/9/16. I posted roll a few days, then the weekend came around and I didn’t post. Then I found a partial can and caved. I admitted my cave and got the snot beat out of me. Turns out that was the best thing to happen to me. It REALLY made me thing about what the heck I was doing. I knew I had to do this, so I buckled down and decided I was in this for good! Now for the first few days of the “suck” and the “fog”. The signs and symptoms were spot-on with what was described. Knowing what to expect was PARAMOUNT! “Okay, this is happening, but it’s supposed to happen so I’ll just endure this and it’ll all be over soon.” The first days were horrible and I couldn’t stop thinking about dipping. But I WANTED so bad not to! Not to dip, but more so not to be thinking about it so much. It slowly became less and less frequent. I had day 100 in my sights the whole time, as if day 100 was the coveted place to be. By the time day 100 rolls around I’ll be fixed, I won’t think about it any more – so I thought. Day 100 has come and gone, and I still think about it from time to time. But I do NOT want that EVER AGAIN!
I knew I had to find something to distract me. So I focused on a couple of hobbies. I bought a new guitar that I’ve been wanting for a long time. I used to play all the time and even played guitar in Jazz Band in college, but I hadn’t really played much since then. I started playing more and even learned a few songs for the kids.
My other hobby I really started to focus on is my pistol shooting skills. During the course of the quit, I decided to pursue the Bullseye Pistol Qualification Program. I am proud to state that I have worked my way up to the ranking of “Sharpshooter”.
Thirdly, my job has been a HUGE distraction as well. That’s been a double edged sword. I have been more swamped in these last 2-3 months than I have ever been in my career. The reason it’s a double edged sword is that A) It’s been good because I’ve had to focus on work projects. B) It’s been bad because stress is what used to drive me to dip in the past.
Day 100. Here I am! I did it. I did it ONLY because I had such great support from my brother & sister June Platoon quitters and vets that took me under their wings! I honestly don’t think I could have quit any other way (God knows I’ve tried). KTC truly has saved my life! My favorite bonus is that being a QUIT ninja dipper is such a liberating feeling! I can do anything at the drop of a hat with the family. I don’t have to get all paranoid if my wife wants to take my truck, in fear she may find something. I don’t have worry about planning around travel. I can go to lunch with whomever on a whim and not worry about how I’m going to get my noon dip in. It truly is great!
Follow-up Action Items: I still have not confronted my wife about my addiction or my quit. I know it needs to be done, and the sooner the better. Our schedules are so crazy right now that there is no logical time to squeeze it in as a special “event” per say. It’ll most likely have to be a random thing while sitting on the couch watching TV. Ugh! I’m dreading this part… (the problem is, I didn’t have a plan for this part…)
NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member Smith686
