So I Quit. Now What? – Getting To and Going Beyond the HOF

I woke up on Day 100 in the usual manner…..ten minutes before the alarm went off, the dog taking way too much of the foot space at the end of the bed and my wife clearly infringing on the 50/50 rule we have for mattress real estate.

This day was like no other….almost GroundHog Day-ish. I walked to the bathroom looked in the mirror. Same guy staring right back at me.

But it was different.

The man that was staring back at me wasn’t pulling down his lower lip to see if there was anything out of the ordinary.
He wasn’t trying to remember where he hid that spitter he was using the night before in fear of his wife finding it.
He wasn’t concerned about how much Skoal he had left for his two hours of driving he had to do that morning.
Most of all, he wasn’t looking at some selfish dickhead that put himself before his wife and kids.

I started out like most of us….just an experiment at first.

1993 Tombstone the movie….”You tell him I’m coming and I’m bringing hell with me!”

I asked one of my buddies for some Kodiak. I think I spilled more of it on my lap then I got in my mouth. Caught one hell of a buzz that night. Perfect fit. I was landscaping in the summers for some extra cash and would have something to make me look like a real man on the crew. After all, my boss was pinching the Cope and the older guys were throwing down the Bear.

I had officially arrived! (More on that later.)

That one night at the movies turned into a habit that I used only when I was working. Then to the 45 minute drive home from school. Then to any time I had to drive. Then to whenever I was doing anything outside of the watchful eye of an adult.

The can and I spent a lot of time together through the years. But I was never proud enough of the Nic Queen to show her off to my family….not the type of girl you want to bring home to mom. My high school girlfriend hated it but never really got on me about it. In college, the can was with me. Late nights working on that paper I waited until the last minute to type. At the keg parties my fraternity threw…..hell, I even made my little (fraternity) brother carry my brand on him all the while he was a pledge just to be able to have it on demand. I hid it from my girlfriend in college for the longest time. She found out, told me of her disapproval so I took my dip habit underground.

I’ll be damned if that girlfriend didn’t become Mrs. Stretch. For 13 years, I hid it from her. Sure she caught me a couple of times when I would return home from a weekend hunting trip and my lower lip was so swollen an eagle could have used it as its perch. That never stopped me……”I only do it when I am hunting honey.”

If she only knew that those late nights I was working on quotes or writing up an order, I was dipping like a mad man. I had my spot to hide the spitter and the wad of shit in the event that she come into the office. I kept telling myself, that I was a grown man and I would quit when I wanted not when she wanted.

So I had arrived.
I was a real hardcore guy now right?
Wrong!

The fact that I allowed a small can of shit to control my every action, my every thought for the last 16 years is a joke. I’m no man. I haven’t arrived. Arrived at what?….Land of the dumbass’ that decide to let the Nic Queen run their lives. Congratulations Mr. Bigtime. Here’s your sign you fucking moron!

I was out playing golf with some buddies back in April. I was sort of quit but mostly had just quit buying my own and simply bummed from my buddies. I was having a rough round that afternoon so I asked a buddy for a lipper. It just so happened that there was a KTC Hall of Famer with me that afternoon. He suggested that I wonder back to the cart with him before I took that fatty. He pulled out a wad of paper from his wallet and told me to have a look. Puzzled, I unfolded the pages to reveal some graphic photos of people’s faces that were mutilated by the Nic Queen. He told me about this site that he was using to help his quit. Needless to say I didn’t have that dip on the course and tucked that website away in my memory.

The pictures wore off after a couple of daysand I had a dip that following week. It wasn’t until I was up late the night before my son’s 2nd birthday putting those godforsaken decals on his new John Deere Tractor. As much as I hated putting it together, I could hardly wait to see his face when he would get it the next day…..all the while I had a fatty in my mouth.

The next day, he didn’t dissapoint me with his reaction to his new toy. As I watched him and older sister drive around the yard laughing hysterically with each other, I realized then more then ever, that I wanted to see my kids grow up.

I had just had my last dip!

I tried it on my own and seemed to be doing alright with my quit. Then I realized I was in for the fight of my life. Then out of the blue, that website my buddy had told me about, popped in my head….www.killthecan.org

I logged on that afternoon and posted with my August Quit Brothers.

It has been an interesting ride over the past 100 days. There is no way I could have forged this path alone. From my August Quit Brothers, to the Distinguished HOF Members that have blazed the trail before me; they all were an important part of my quit. Without the encouraging words and the sharing of their quits, I would be ninja dipping with the best of them this very day.

100 days isn’t the end.

It is the starting point to the rest of your life tobacco free.

You can’t hit 100 and then walk away.

You need to commit yourself to make this a stepping stone to the next 100 and then the next and then the next.

Don’t tell yourself you’ll quit when you’re ready.

You never will.

Jump in head first and don’t come up for air…..you’ll be happy you did.

Then, and only then, can you say you have arrived.

A special thanks to Mrs Stretch, Lil Ms Stretch and Stretch Jr for helping me see the error in my decision to put the can first in my life. I love all of you with all my heart and look forward to spending a very long time living, laughing and playing together.

A big thanks to all of you bad ass quiters that have made the commitment, far too many to mention, that have reached out to me and helped me make it through the toughest thing I have ever done in my life.

Thanks Williams for introducing this site to me….you truly have saved me from myself!

I’ll see all of you at role in the morning!

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member Stretch