Taking Back My Life – mcarmo44 HOF Speech

100 days ago I sat at this computer with a dip in, looking at this site. I was a “planner” I was preparing for my quit. I had signed up and was ready to quit tomorrow. I have a number of “tomorrows” in my past about as many as the number of times I tried to quit on my own. I accidentally jump into chat where I quickly got called out and it was “gently” suggested that if I were serious about quitting I should go spit it out and start right now. That was 9:55 Nov 3rd 2011. My only regret is I have no idea who to thank because it all happened so fast I never even thought to get names.

Week one: this guy Wastepanel started texting me two or three times a day, and this other guy Jimwot started supporting me in my quit. I got back into chat and things were going fast and furious and I got lost a little in the mix. I remember being asked if I were going to the Penn State get together and I replied, “No you people scare me” and you did. Then there was this group of guys Bigsky, BSD, Mr Nice Guy, a few more fallen brothers who were raging and venting and starting so much drama I thought I joined a real housewives of where ever chat room.

Later our group started to grow and what a great group it has become: PBerg, Tommy, Ski, Tex, Cornholio, Kach, Weatherman, Buddy, Zandrew, DW3 each and every brother has helped me on this journey. I was invited to grow a third testicle and had parts of my body adopted. The Vet’s like Wastepanel, 30, Tarp, Gator, NOLAQ, Chewie, j2b, Loot, Gmann, Colnel, Big Brother Jack, Luby, and I could go on and on. All the Mods, Admins, and the original guys who started this site stated sharing all this wisdom and experience. That really scared me. There was all this talk of addiction and being an addict. My only thought now was “God I hope I am not like them.”

I kept posting, reading, and started to reach out and get more involved with my group and started reaching out to the guys who joined after me. This was the best thing I could have ever done for my quit. I came to grips and admitted I was an addict, I can never have just one more and oh by the way if I work hard at this maybe I CAN be like them.

In the end this 100 days is more of a beginning than an ending. I wouldn’t be here without the support of my group, the Vets, and especially my wife. She put up with the rage and the bullshit and kept smiling; inside saying “you will either be quit or dead at 100 days your choice.” I realized how much I missed out on by constantly being fixated on my next dip. I am in sales so relationships are very important; I connected more with people this last 100 days then in the 5 previous years because I can focus on them instead of when I can sneak away for my next nicotine fix. I also have this confidence that since I did this, as long as I stay quit, I can do anything.

I can never repay what I’ve received from this site. I can only try my best to help out each group that comes after me. But the people listed above and those I missed, I apologize, will always have by gratitude and support. With all of your help I took back my life at 9:55 on Nov 3rd 2011.

Thank you,
Mike

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member mcarmo44