Thanks For Saving Me!!!!

Where to start? Feels like I am laid out on some shrink’s couch spilling where my life went wrong, but this is so much greater then that. I have what I feel is closure to my biggest problem ever. A 19 year addiction that at times had me using 2 cans of Copenhagen a day. What the hell was I thinking? I was about 14 when I was at my grandparents house along with my cousins when one of them said check this out. He pulled out a can of Silver Creek. We all three took a try with mixed results. I was fine and felt nothing, my one cousin caught a small buzz and the other turned green. Well later that night, I tried it again, this time taking a bigger dip and with results this time. The room started spinning, I was floating off to some far off land and loving it! I was hooked! I started slow, 1 can every week and a half trying not to get caught. It was very hard to get it at the age of 14. I started working at a local country club when I caught my first big break that winter. Alot of the guys that worked there dipped and so I now had a supplier. Life was good. I got turned onto Cope and quickly went from 1 can every week or so to 1 can every 2 days to 1 can a day. I was able to hide my chewing from my parents for atleast three years when I got lazy. I left a few empty cans in my truck and my mom decided that she wanted to take it. When she questioned me about it, I came straight out and said it was mine and have been doing it for a few years now! I wish she would have beat me down with a 2×4 looking back, but she said I wish you would quit and that it is a nasty habit. Like all, in one ear and out the other. I was working and having a good ole time, hell even going to school, sitting in class with a big ole dip in, swallowing the juice all day long.

At the age of 18, I was off to boot camp and my first real test with out snuff. I went out and bought a log prior to going, nobody told me I couldn’t dip there. First day they said “All tobacco products are banned and will be disposed of in the amnesty window. I had a tear in my eye when I put that log in the window. About fifteen minutes later, I see one of the drill sergeants walking out with it. I made it about 2 weeks when the craving hit and I discovered a way to get it. I sent money and a plan to my best friend to get 5 cans of Cope, put them into individual baggies and put them in the bottom of a half full baby powder bottle. As soon as that package came in, I was up to the bathroom dumping the powder out. Some fellow boot camp buddy caught me pulling the first bag out and said “I’ll give to $10 bucks for a dip!” Thats all it took. Pretty soon, everyone was getting baby powder.

Fastforward 18 months and on to my first assignment. It was off to Korea and a little base. I came packed with a log and went searching to where I could find some. NONE anywhere local. I was paying people 10 bucks extra when they go down range to the main PX, to get me a 2 logs. Eventually after about 2 months of complaining it was supplied at my base and life was once again good. I finished my time in Korea and came back close to home for my next assignment. A few years down the road at about the age of 26, I came down with a nasty chest cold. I kept getting tired of having to wipe up chew spit from coughing up a lung and ended up trading in the snuff for a bag of cough drops. I was done dipping! I was doing the Snoopy dance. I started a new job about five months later. It was a great job, 7 pm to 7 am but I had a killer commute. I started falling asleep at the wheel. I needed something to help me. I remembered that when I was dipping, I never feel asleep. I figured I will be ok if I only use it for the trip home. Then I was thinking that if I only do it every so often I will be ok. I was hooked once again. I was fine with it though and then one day last year, I went to the dentist and she asked if I started dipping? I told her yes, not wanting to sound insulting and asked why. She said I had a callous on my lip. Well that didn’t really bother me much, hell I was dipping for years and she just now noticed, I’m good. As soon as I got in my car from leaving the dentist, I put in a dip. That drew the line right there. I thought how bad am I if I get my teeth cleaned, just to fuck them up again. I made a vow to quit on New Years. I didn’t tell anyone, just did some research. I came across this website and started reading. I came up with a game plan and followed along with the March quit, watching from the outside. I then read something that really struck home. Somebodys quote (I apologize, I can’t remember who) said that I don’t want my son to grow to be the spitting image of me! Well with two boys of my own (15 and 11) it made me think. As New Years approached, at 10:15 on Dec 31 2008, I grab my can and gave it a big heave into the night. Since that day, I have made it fairly uneventful 104 days. I have had alot of help from BBJ. Brother, thanks for being there to post for me when I couldn’t. RKY and Roy Jester you where the two guys that kept me going. If I posted before you, I looked back to see if you posted the day before. I want to thank each and every person past, present and future HOFers for the assistance that you provide, not only for me but for every on else that comes here for help. Let me say in closing that you all have saved my life!!!!

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member ron3775