The Deep Quit
Now that I have hit triple digits, I have a few observations that I have made in the first 100 days of this quit:
1. I have seen it acknowledged and agree with the notion that Hall of Fame status at 100 days is somewhat arbitrary but so would any number. I view this arbitrary milepost as significant but one of many that I will hit in this quit. I am quit 14 weeks which I view as being significant since any of my prior weak-ass efforts were merely stops. This quit is real. I am thankful for this quit.
2. I came to this site through the guidance of NOPLCLKNEB who is in the March 2009 group. He advised me that chewers must make the DECISION and then this site can help. The information here got my attention by telling me what it was going to be like when I quit, what symptoms I would experience and it was honest in informing me that it would really suck for the first few days. I appreciated the honesty. One reason that this quit was real is that I am now honest with my wife, my family and most importantly, myself. In all honesty, when I quit on 12-12-2009, I had been chewing for 32 years. I realized that I was going to turn 50 and I was still trying to kill myself with a carcinogen. It had to change. I am thankful that I made the decision.
3. I learned more about addiction. I always knew that I was an addict but I considered myself a light user. I would use a can every 5-7 days and thought that it was not a problem. Like a “light” herion user, I was lying to myself. I recognize that I am addict but at least now, I am a recovering one. I have heard it said that addicts are unhappy when they are using and are unhappy when they are clean. My short term objective is to be happy when I am clean. Nicotine is an insidious drug, certainly in the top 3 of addictive substances. I am very thankful that it no longer controls me.
4. A strong quit needs to be two dimensional. We all measure our quit with length or duration. Yeah, I have made it 100 days. My first few days, I measure my quit in hours so I am now 2400 hours or 144,000 minutes into this successful quit. However, that success could be shattered in one bad minute.Unfortunately, we have all seen prior HOF’ers cave on day 500 or some shit like that. I am convinced that those quits either lacked or lost the second dimension which adds width or depth to the quit. I need to add space laterally to the quit to protect it from the influences which I know can trigger a crave. We all do it with accountability. I have many promises to a lot of people, e.g.- fellow March quitters, ,my wife, kids, clients, etc, all of which add depth to my quit. I also have a very health respect for the addiction. I know that there is no such thing as “just one”. I am an addict and cannot ever tough the stuff again. The length of my quit has made me much more comfortable with the concept of “forever”, I will never chew again. For that I am thankful. The added depth of the quit protects and preserves the length. As long as I retain and add to the depth, I can protect the duration. I am thankful for the accountability.
5. Lastly, I owe thanks to many people here. I did not do this alone and will not moving forward. I owe special mention to Rckymtnmn, TCOPE and Chewie for reaching out in those first few shitty days. I would not have found this site with NOPLCLKNEB. His advice, help and support got my started and kept me going. I also appreciated the no-nonsense approach of those of use who first posted in December (Show, Jack, Phalanx). No drama, just worked hard to get and stay quit. Fine way to behave. Lawkatt in the May quit group is a friend, fellow quitter and we will keep each other honest. I am thankful for the help and support that this site engenders. Would not be here without it.
Moving forward, I plan to participate for a minimum of 365 days. We marchers made that commitment. I also have a soft spot for those lost souls who come here after 30+ years of using. I plan to stay vigilante and lend whatever help I can.
Proud to be quit with KTC.
Tom h
NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member tom h
