The Me I Was Searching For

Hall of Fame-Geralt-May 17 Quit Group

05/09/2017

Geralt- Day 100. HoF. 100 days and counting! Shout out to my May 17 crew for all their love and support.

Before KTC

I was a chewer of the betelnut a.k.a. areca nut. We would mix it with a lime powder and a stick of cigarette and chew it and spit out the juice. Sounds disgusting right? Well, it is; it is more disgusting then dip, yet they share the same side effect: serious addiction, and risk: oral cancer. I not only chewed during most of my daily activities, but I chewed most of my life. I never thought of quitting or even worried about getting addicted and the health consequences until I reached my late 20s. I progressed into my 30s and I wanted to live a healthier life. I always thought of quitting, but never made the decision until this year, 2017.
119 days ago I was chewing 8+ times a day. Did I want to quit? Hell yes I did. I just didn’t know when I will seriously start. I started the process of quitting on 1/11/2017. I researched on ways to quit and stumbled on KTC. I would read some articles and posts, but I did not take the site seriously (yet). I also did not think that this really related to me because I was a chewer not a dipper. 1/11/17 to 1/28/17 was a time period that consisted of quit days and caves. Skipping ahead to 1/29/17, I committed my last cave and said enough was enough and that I NEEDED MORE HELP. I couldn’t do this alone.

Life with KTC

I quit on 1/29/17 at 11:00PM. I took my entire chew stash I was hiding and threw them in the trash. I was confused, depressed, and nervous about the days to follow without my chew. How was I supposed to live life without it after doing it for 15 years? I decided to step out of my comfort zone and join KTC and see where it took me. This site ended up to be my answer to staying quit; more specifically, my May 17 Quit Group. This group and forum changed my life. I dove right in. I posted random discussions and replied to others. I understood what they were going through and they understood me. I didn’t have to worry about being judged about my addiction or scolded for being panicky, pissed, moody, bitchy, F’ed-up for not having chew. They all understood and have been in my shoes one way or another and were ready to empathize and provide their 110% support. These were extremely important to me and held me up to this day.

The group took the site’s rules and attitudes toward being accountable to your quit very VERY seriously. I remember a member caved and he got put on the spot, blasted, and lectured for like 2-3 non-stop days. I was happy to witness the whole situation. I give a lot of credit to him for sticking around. I mean that helped my resolve to stay quit. Because I knew how much my quit meant to my Quit Group, I felt more of that care that I was looking for to help me push through. Since being engulfed by this group, my stay quit goal not only included myself and my immediate family, but the many members in May 17 and the other badass supporters of our group. Thank you and I love you guys!

You Get What You Give

Do not expect the site and its members to make this a dream experience for you. Do not expect that only posting roll will cure your craves or motivate your quit throughout the day. Do not just sit around after posting roll and expect a flood of people wanting to know everything about you or praising your posts all the time. PARTICIPATE. Use the site and its members to get the best advice you can. Lean on your fellow quit group when you are having a crave episode. TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ALL THE RESOURCES, SUPPORT, and DISCUSSIONS THE SITE AND ITS MEMBERS OFFER!!

My Advice

Never think you can’t quit. I ended up here for several reasons, one of them is that I was tired, I was sooo DAMN tired of chewing; I hated it and I wanted out! When you are ready, I ask that you dig deep and find your most powerful will power and best reasons to quit and use those to get you through each quit day. Do not give up, do not surrender. Do not think about the future, think about the present; take it one day at a time (ODAAT). USE YOUR TOOLS: distractions and whatever will keep you busy or relieve stress. You may hate this quit experience up to your 2nd week, but I guarantee you that you will feel differently after that time period. Keep that light at the end of the tunnel in sight; it will get brighter each day you overcome and BE CAREFUL of the 2 traps: 1) Complacency and 2) One chew or dip will not hurt. The rest is up to you.

What is Next?

My journey with my May 17 brothers and sisters is far from over. I look forward to continue getting to know this ME I lost 15 years ago; the ME I have been searching for the past several years.. During this time I will continue to work on adding to my quit days and become a supporter.

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member Geralt