The Process

Epiphanies are the big moments that help make sense of your life and they have ripple effects for everyone, not just you.  I wish I could say I quit after an epiphany, but my quit was planned.  You see, I found ktc through a search one day in mid December, I was going to give it another shot at quitting and I wanted to make it stick.  I registered that day but never posted a day 1.

It was Christmas morning 2018 and the kids were opening their gifts.  I had my coffee, camera, and of course a fat lip of snuff.  In the chaos of christmas morning, my spittoon was knocked over by my daughter and it made a nasty disgusting mess on the floor….  The disgusted look on her face (and my wifes scorn) shamed me as I proceeded to clean and mop the floor of my spit.  I couldn’t even quit for an hour as my kids enjoyed opening their gifts, this had gone too far.  I was done I thought, it was time to quit for good.  Time to face my demons.  I was quitting.

The rest of the day I spent my time thinking about how I only had like 3 dips left in my current can.  Should I go to the convenience store and grab some more?  Kick the quit date down the line til after the holidays? Nope. Later that day as I scraped the final bit out of the can and put it in, the realization came to me.  I was really going to do this.  Another quit.  Fuck, was I scared.

I wake up on December 26th, powered up my desktop and posted my promise.  I was the first member in April.  Oh shit, I will be held to a higher standard than anyone else, I thought.  I was even surprised that chris2alaska even sent me a pm 3 days prior when I was lurking.  “It’s a good day to quit, if you need help pm me” or something to that effect.  How in the hell did he know?  Now I know.  The process.

From the outside looking in, ktc might appear as a odd place.  Grown men posting on message boards all these numbers.  The groups delineated by month and each with a unique name.  Coarse language littered about (I am guilty for sures) and an almost hazing like initiation to the quit process if one does not conform to the accountability.  There was also evidence of deep relationships formed, a brotherhood.  So many quitters who are nic free.  Little did I know that this place would be my saving grace EDD as I kick the nicotine addiction with my brothers in quit.

Coming home from work that first day made me surprised at the outpouring of support from ktc.    My inbox had over a dozen messages with people offering their time and wisdom on what to do and what to expect as I start to detox.  Many left their digits.  I was starting to feel pretty bad but I never had much support in my past attempts to quit nic.  Those who aren’t addicted to nicotine just don’t  understand.  This was pretty surreal, I was thinking I might just have a chance. I started getting some physical cravings later that night and got to sleep.  For some reason, sleeping was the answer to craves when they got really bad.  Thus was my first day without nic.

There is a process to successful quitting and its basis comes in the form of an equation:

Brotherhood + Accountability=Success

Brotherhood is defined as an association, society, or community of people linked by a common interest, religion, or trade.  These are the guys in your quit group.  These are the vets who work nonstop to help other new quitters.  These are the people you get to know and change them from stranger to friend somewhere along the way..  These are the people whom you lean on when times are lean or you feel vulnerable.  These are the people that anyone of us would jump in the foxhole with.  These are the people you call to shoot the shit with.  These are the people who have your back and you theirs.  These are the people who walk the same path as you do in your addiction.  These are the people who we quit with every damn day (EDD)!!!!  These are the people who will save your quit one day.

There is a bond I can attest to that is formed somewhere along the way between you and some quitters.  They are your brothers in quit.  And that closeness through our quit helps fuel us as we post our promise every damn day.  Because the fight is endless.  Slow and steady wins the race.

Accountability is defined as an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one’s actions.  But here it goes even further.  Here we hold each other accountable in addition to ourselves.  That is key.  This is what we call a web of accountability.  This is the single most important thing you can do early in your quit.  Get as many quitters in your corner and have them hold you accountable for your actions.  No more excuses.  No addict speak.  No coddling of balls.  You watch my back and I watch yours. Make it so that it is virtually impossible for you to fail in your quit.  I know I have.

Now that I have hit  100 days, I wanted to offer tips and suggestions that I learned on my short journey to this first milestone.  They are:

1. Quit for yourself.  It’s sounds mighty nice to quit for your wife or kids but you need to quit for yourself.  If you aren’t done with nic, you will fail.  You have to want to be quit.
2. WUPP-wake up and piss post.  Be a trailblazer in your quit.  As soon as you wake up log in, post up and take nic off the table for the day.
3. Quit ODAAT-Any of us can quit for 24 hours.  It makes the daunting task of quitting forever easy. Worry about tomorrow, tomorrow.
4. Don’t drink early in your quit.  This was something I realized 2-3 weeks into my quit.  I was drinking too much so I had to take it out of the equation.  Don’t be that guy who caves after a crazy night with booze.  It’s just not worth it.
5. Get and give out your digits.  This will really help build accountability.  You’ll need support many times throughout your quit so don’t be shy.
6. Call someone.  Get over your fears of talking to a stranger and call a quitter you develop a bond to.  Who knows, they might save your quit one day.
7. Celebrate your successes!  Take it slow at first but put yourself out there.  Live your life and celebrate your small things.  It is possible to live life and do things without nic.
8. Be patient.  Rome was not built in one day. Realize that this is a marathon, not a race.  Don’t burn yourself out.  It can take as much as two years for your brain to rewire.  Be patient.
9. Check your ego at the door.  This is first and utmost a quitting nicotine site.  But here we quit EDD and we WILL hold you accountable.  Don’t get hurt if I lay into you for slacking on your quit. YOU signed up for it.
10. Admit that you are an addict.  It sucks to admit this but we all are.  Do any of you remember the hell we all went through in the first 3-5 days?  I do.  Nafar.
11. Get involved.  Sign up for ssoa duty or offer support to other groups. This is really important for a newbie.  It takes the mind off the suck.
12. Learn about your addiction.  Knowledge is power.  Learn to recognize how an addict thinks so you don’t fall back into your addiction.
13. Own your quit.  Only you can quit.  No one is going to do that for you.  Be an active participant in your quit. Do things the right way.  WUPP ODAAT EDD.  Take pride in your quit. Learn what true freedom is.
14. Give back to the community.  KTC was probably the first successful quit for most of us.  Pay it forward.  Get out there and make a difference.

Over the years, I have literally tried to quit at least a dozen times without success.  That was until I found ktc. I owe a huge THANK YOU to a bunch of badass quitters who helped me along the way: chris2alaska, MikeW2018, Skolvikings, BluManChew, Broc, kodiakdeath, BearNM, ALL OF APRIL 19’ (you guys are my brothers!!!), my wife and kids for putting up with me in the beginning and the almighty above.

For those of you reading this who are on the fence, dive in.  Drink the koolaid and be QUIT!  This system works. Break free of the chains of addiction. If in through writing this, I have helped one person quit, it will have served its purpose.  Remember, you’re either quit or you’re not.  I am quit for today and today only.  Tomorrow is another day.

Mayfly 106 IQWYT

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member mayfly