THE VOID (The Feeling of Something Missing)
Silly rabbits, nicotine wasn’t filling the void it was creating it.
What exactly is it that your foggy mind imagines you lost? The only thing that chew is good for is to keep you addicted to chew.
You think you miss it? Is it the morning ritual of scraping the dead skin off your lip? Did it make you a better husband, father, son. Perhaps you miss being tethered to a dripping sewer of a spitter. I know!!! It made you smarter and the lump in your lip was a real hit with the ladies . You didn’t lose anything , instead you have gained everything, perhaps your very life.
Nothing to miss that’s all illusion created by the addiction
“Bullshit” you say “I remember that it was good and I liked it”
You miss that good dip? the perfect wedge that you think you remember. I bet you have a romantic memory, mine is of dipping in the bleachers at the high school game on Friday night. (Secret for you) That’s not the dip you get when you cave. Ohhhh nooooo buttercup, you get a dip that was just like your LAST ONE. Remember that lame chew? The one you had to have just to feed your habit, you had to think about where to put it because everywhere else hurt. Except this dip will be full of guilt and shame and failure. How could you start again when you have read the Tom Kern story? or looked at ODT’s cancer surgery, or spent any time here at all?
Don’t romanticize your addiction, if it was so great why did you want to stop in the first place.
It isn’t the one good chew you get when you fail , its the 10,000 shitty chews that will come with it. How long will it take you to get back to 30 days of freedom? How long did it take you this time? for me it was years in between quits. You can’t risk that, how many chances until you look your son or daughter in the eyes and tell them you killed yourself? and you did it on purpose. The next dip could be the one that kills you. It isn’t likely but the possibility is there. Jenny Kern said the odds of getting cancer from chew don’t matter if your the one that gets it. Just sayin
Still on the fence eh, ” it was always there for me” and ” it would calm me down” you mumble. Nicotine is a vasoconstrictor it raises your blood pressure. It is also a stimulant. Sounds calming alright . More illusions of your nicotine soaked cerebellum. When you are angry you produce chemicals like adrenaline and cortisol. These literally take the nic out of your blood stream. So you go into withdrawal. So….we…would have a dip, and feel better. The calm you felt… was only the relief from withdrawal.
But we all believed it was THE DIP that calmed us, it was in reality the DIP that caused a lot of the stress. Nicotine creating a void (can you see it yet)
The feel better high you seek, the replacement for your so called void? I think PBkids shrink friend was close but not quite there. If you can admit the void is caused by nicotine and your addiction, then the opposite must be true as well. Recovery from the addiction will fill the void. You can see this prove out in your own group and those ahead of you. Posts such as it was great to hang out with my kid and not worry about a place to spit or a spitter. Posts on how nice it feels to not HAVE to lie and hide. How proud you feel, how proud your loved ones are. Those feelings of relief, calm , become more and more as your quit progresses. THAT my addict brethren will fill the void, THAT is the good and the positive stuff that your already working for. (another secret) it’s worth it and it feels so much better than you do now.
your body has to heal, your mind needs to heal. Dip literally changes the way your brain works, and it changes how your body produces and uses all of its feel good chemicals. It effects serotonin and adrenaline. The fog in my opinion is created by a lack of chemical production when your brain is trying to figure out what the hell to do with out a steady stream of poison ( you knew that nicotine is a potent neurotoxin right). Anti depressants act on the same chemicals that nic did. Coincidence that Wellbutrin does the same thing? You may feel depressed, the funk, the fog, the blahs and the fuck its. It hits with a repeatable timing in all the groups. Common sense tells you that a pattern that occurs across every group could be reality. This is your brain healing. Literally nicotine receptors are dying and new neuro pathways are forming. This is the price you must pay to earn your freedom. Embrace it. Rkymtnman gave you the best piece of advice yet. Exercise, Yes you frito lay lovin pork rind munching fattys need to get off your collective asses and exercise. Walking counts if you put some distance there. Exercise works on your body just like the rest of the stuff above. Exercise releases endorphins that will help you feel better. It is scientifically proven that you will have less craves and less severe craves AND a larger number of you droolers will stay quit. Thor’s Pajammer is correct with meditation, check out what meditation does to brain chemistry as well. Its all the same , help yourself and take a walk.
As Forest Gump says that’s all I have to say about that. Sorry for the long post, I hope it helps. It is really just a collection of things I’ve picked up from those who helped me. Some is from posts you’ll find if you dig hard enough. One day at a time buttercups. If I can do it so can you. Now seriously put the pickle down and buy a ab roller.
Quitting can really be the easiest hard thing you’ll ever do. Or it can be the hardest easy thing. Depends on how you flip the switch in your mind.
sM
NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member Skoal Monster
