To the Family

I wrote this letter to a friend who has a brother going thru drug rehab. When I got done, I thought it might help someone in here as well. So for what it’s worth, here’s the letter:

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I’m continuing to pray for him. He has a long road to go. They say snuff is the worst form of nicotine to be addicted to because it pours such a huge amount of nic into your blood steam from the minute you put it in until you spit it out. Luckily, that’s the only addiction I have to relate to in order to understand what he’s going thru. I think I can relate at least to some extent.

So here are a few things that might be helpful:

1. The deck is stacked against him. He doesn’t need to know that, yall do.

2. He didn’t start out thinking “wouldn’t it be cool if I got addicted to this rat poison  ruined my life!”. He just made a series of bad choices, followed the wrong group, and now it controls his whole life.

3. He has to turn it over to God. Let God have control. Trust God Prov 3:5. He needs to turn every aspect of his life over to God  empty himself.

4. He’ll always be an addict, but he doesn’t have to let it control him forever.

5. His brain is re-wired and it will be a long while before it works correctly again. What he used to do for a “high” is now what is body begs for in order to be “normal”. It will be a long time before he feels normal again.

6. He’s lost touch with what “normal” feels like.

7. I’ve been free for 442 days. I’ll always be an addict. One fall  I’m back at day one. One screw up  I’ll be back to a can a day. Example: not thinking, I went into a cigar shop w/ Malinda back at Christmas to buy a gift for someone. It was several days later when I put 2 and 2 together  realized why I had gone into such a funk, had such bad headaches, and was craving nicotine so badly. I guess smelling it, smelling the smoke from the guys smoking cigars, etc was pretty strong. It was a lot like the first week all over again.

8. He can’t worry about tomorrow, next week, etc. He can only pledge not to do it today. I’ve made that pledge 442 times in a row. He can do it too. He just needs to pledge he won’t do it today. Tomorrow has enough worries of its own.

9. Assurance that life outside his quit is under control and being taken care of, so that all he has to worry about is getting free.

10. Celebrate successes. One whole week is awesome. 10 days is HUGE. Double digits. Congratulate him. Lots of encouragement.

11. Other activities will become important if he can stay free long enough to begin embracing them. I bought a bike after about 50 days. That bike became a significant part of my quit. Now I’ve moved a step further and do triathlons. It puts a cavern between where I am now and where I was 443 days ago. I like the new  don’t want the old any more.

I’m not saying these things to erase hope. I’m just trying to give you some insight on how it is. It gets easier. “Normal” returns. It takes time. One day at a time. You have to be smart  not put yourself in situations. He’ll learn all this if he can just get thru the fog and funk of the first few weeks.

Finally, prayer is the most powerful tool. I can’t express how significant it is that he give his will over to God. He has to empty “self” and replace it with God. God wants good for him, not evil. I can’t think of the verse off hand, but there’s a verse (Isaiah maybe?) that talks about that. So he can rest. Lay it all on God. Give it all to God. That’s his only hope, because God is truth. When you get down to this level, you have to brush aside all the other garb – you have to cling to Truth.

This may be nothing but rambling, so for what it’s worth…at least know that I’ll pray for him and the fam.

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan Support Forum member P35