Triggering a Look Inside

I sometimes feel like the guy who just quit when I do something without dip the first time.  I believe to be successful you have to master all of the triggers and those are not always an everyday occurrence.  For me, today was a perfect example of something I had never done before without dip, I stained the deck.  I can hear the thoughts, it just like anything else you do outside now without a dip.  I don’t think it is and here is why, an addict needs to re learn everything they do and how to do it without dip.   You need to do everything once without it to have create that new association.  Yes, some may be similar but you can catch yourself looking back and reminiscing about the last time you performed that activity.  I caught myself, a nice day outside and completing a task it had been a long time since I did this.  The last time I did it, I had a dip in.  I had to start over today and learn how to stain a deck without dip.  It may seem strange but you need that new association so you can conquer your addiction.

Speaking of addiction and addicts, that trigger today made me take a look at myself and think about all of the really dumb things I did.  I am a nicotine addict and I am no different than any other addict, be it alcohol, drugs, whatever.  My example, I may think a heroin addict is nuts for not using a clean needle because he needs his fix so bad he cannot wait.  As I was out on the deck I discovered I was just as bad.  I can remember being outside doing yard work, painting, whatever and thinking I really needed a dip but my hands are dirty.  If I was to wash my hands I would need to take my shoes off, go inside and wash my hands then go put a dip in.   It felt like a lot just to get a dip, my hands are not that dirty.  Really?  You have been outside with your hands in dirt, paint, stain and now you are justifying how dirty they might be so I can get a fix.  The only thing that separates addicts is what we are addicted to.

Why else would you need to justify shoving your dirty hands in your mouth?

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member klark