We Walk Together
One thing that attracted me to this site was all the members that had shockingly similar stories that I could relate to. However, I was a little reserved about the word or concept of Brotherhood. To me it just seems kinda queer. Guys on the internet calling me bro etc, I let it go at first but it bothered me. Boy has my mind changed.
Do you really get into this site? Does it work? Well, we lost one in my sub group; I have felt bad about that and spent some time thinking about him. It also occurred to me what the hell is this; I am having feelings for someone that I only have met through a flippin internet site. Then it hit me, these are my brothers, we all have this common bond, this is for real. When my fallen brother comes back to this site I will encourage him, give him some shit, but I will come to his rescue in a heartbeat. We are here to support each other, THAT’S BROTHERHOOD.
My story is much like anybody else’s. I started young as an occasional user, than came High School. I was never a ninja dipper but I was never one that was proud of my new habit and only did it in private or around close friends. I hid it from my girlfriend, parents etc. The whole time there was never a doubt that I could quit at anytime. College, ahh College, still continuing to dip, I’m indestructible, can quit anytime I want to habit, but somehow the nic bitch became more important to me. She was a crutch for that late night cramming session etc. She helped me handle that new found “stress” of college life. One of the things I learned about college I learned myself. I had this impression that I had to work much harder than every other student out there just to keep up. Wasn’t till several years after graduation that I realized that 98% of the kids were feeling the same way.
I see the same thing on this site. Many quitters start out here thinking their quit is harder, more difficult than others, or more unique etc. Quitting tobacco does affect people differently, mentally and physically, there is truth to that. Heck just in August 09 we’ve had quitters that got along great we also had one during the fog, no names here, but initials were TNdeer shoot his friggin lawnmower with a high power rifle just b/c it got stuck. Still laughing at that one. However, there are enough quitters on this site I would be willing to bet money that there is always someone who has gone before us that their quit or situation while quitting was more severe than yours could possibly be. Here again we have this common bond. We are brothers that share an addiction that are going down the path together. Some of us have just started, some have made it 100 days down the road (congrats August 09), there are a bunch of great vets that have carried their burden way down the path. And it feels good. If you are not quit right now doesn’t this sound good?
Fast forward over the next twenty years, marriage, career, kids etc. So many monumental events in one’s life and so many excuses not to quit. Finally this spring I had a HS classmate of mine pass away from brain/neck cancer. As far as I know she never used tobacco of any kind. She was a good friend of mine. Anyhow, all of a sudden within a year of being diagnosed she’s gone. I also have had stomach/throat issues for about the last year. I had been eating Prilosec, Tums and Pepcid like crazy. I was getting paranoid about the big C. I quit May 15, I haven’t had a Tums or anything since. I have been able to enjoy spicy hot foods, belly feels like a cast iron pot again.
Something a hero quitter of mine named Dean the C%^t mentioned in his HOF speech, “For starters, the site and its members made me THINK”. How true that was for me Dean. I had been denying the reality and the dangers of dip for 30 years. As I became acquainted with the resources and the members on this site, I have finally admitted to myself that I was an idiot for way to long. You are all my brothers who are very similar to me. Similar history, same horrible addiction, but we are quit, that’s who we are.
Thank you KTC and all the members for saving my life.
Your choice is yours
My choice is mine
I am Livin
Martin
NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member livin
