What a Journey – Enough Was Enough!!

So I am sitting here in my living room chatting on line with a couple of newbies and decide now is a good time to write my HOF speech. Let me first start out by telling a little about how I got here in the first place. I am 41 years old with a wonderful wife and 3 children and had been dipping on and off for 23 years. During these 23 years I had “quit” over a dozen times and convinced myself I could quit anytime as I was not an addict. Boy was I wrong. I often convinced myself that I could by a can and do 1 dip. Boy was I wrong. One dip would turn into one dip a day to one dip on the way to work and one on the way home to one can a day to one fucked up cave after another. But I was not an addict, junkie…..boy was I wrong. One day my son looked at me when I put a dip in my mouth and said “dad I thought you said you were quitting (like 3 years ago)……What an ass. One night I went to a wake for my neighbors wife after she died from cancer from smoking. I sat there looking at her two motherless twin boys and felt so sorry for them. They had just witnessed there mother lose an absolutely horrific battle. Something no ones children should have to endure. I step outside and the father is outside the funeral home smoking a cigarette….right we are not addicts or junkies are we? Enough was enough!!

My Quit
I jump onto my computer head to google and type in quit dipping…..hmmm this site looks interesting. I put a dip in (dont really plan on quitting, I am not an addict) and click on the link. The first thing I click on is the link for chat….maybe there are some hot chicks out there. WRONG!!! The next 30 minutes are a blur as I was used like a punching bag by several (Quittin Time, jPine, Monty, Slug, Hoss, Greg) I think that was it at this particular time. Needless to say the next thing I know I am spitting out my dip and dumping my shit down the toilet. I quickly learn I cannot have just one because on Day 7 I cave….SHIT!! Get rid of the emergency stash!!! This is going to be harder than I thought. I am an addict, junkie and need help. I tuck tail and come back….I think my asshole is about 4 inches wider (thanks Ed, QT, Fran, justquit) (yes jPine that qualifies as gay speak) but that day was 1/23/2009 and I am now QUIT and in the HOF.

For those thinking about quitting or new to quit let me give you a quick overview of my quit as I remembered it all. Remember the phrase “Embrace the Suck”. Day 1, 2, 3, …. they suck. The headaches, tiredness, fogginess, walking aimlessly around the living room feeling like you lost a friend (no friend would try to kill you). It all sucks. Never forget it, embrace it and always keep that memory close. We did it to ourself. No one wants to go through that more than once. Always be ready for the bitch to attack. She attacked me on Day 17, Day 28, Day 70 really bad and believe it or not around 95. We are addicts!! Always be ready. How did an addict like me get to 100? If I can anyone can. Always have the contract with you, always have quit brothers (sisters) numbers, always post roll and do not stray too far away from this site. One last word of advice is Pay It Forward. Help others!!! I could not have done this quit without all of the brothers and sisters out here on this site. I could probably write another 10 pages listing all that have helped me. But without the initial pushing from QT, BBJ and Monty or the friendship of Kid, Dean, and Ed, or the tough love from jPine and Greg or the constant follow up and holding us accountable by Outernal I would have strayed long ago. Stealing a quote from jPine HOF speech…. become part of someones HOF speech, help others and they will help you. Thank you all for helping me, guiding me and joining me in this journey. I will not go far from this site and neither should you!

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member jrod2143