What’s Wrong With Now?

When I first logged into this site as a guest on September 1, 2010, I was making my plan for the quit and had decided that my Quit Day would be September 14, 2010. I jumped into the Chat room and started asking a few questions. There were a couple Quitters in there that seemed to get excited about playing with the newbie and making sure I was serious about my claims of quitting. They asked me one of the most important questions of my quit.

“Dizz, I hear that you want to quit in a couple weeks, but what is wrong with NOW!!!” Naturally I gave some BullShit answer that didn’t make sense to anyone so it turned more into a command. “Man up and quit NOW Dizz. Flush your can down the toilet and fuckin’ post roll. What does 9-14 have that NOW doesn’t?”

I did spit out the carcinogen filled turd I had in my lip, gave some lame ass excuse about needing to ween off my 3 can a week addiction before I did the Cold Turkey thing and then signed off before they could comment.

This whole question of NOW kept playing past me all night and I found by noon on the 2nd, I still hadn’t had a dip. The fog was rolling in and the anxiety was at a fever pitch, but in an amazing moment of clarity, I realized I could not properly tell anyone what is wrong with Quitting right NOW and what 2 weeks would do for me is just give me the opportunity to fuck up and let a quit day pass. So I went with the NOW.

So today, on my originally planned quit day, I posted roll at 13 days quit. I have #1 Crabbr to thank for kicking my ass and teaching me about the power of NOW. I have been through the fog cussing and fighting the nic bitch the whole way. I am 100% committed to this quit and know that anything short of no nic will not be tolerated by me, my family, or KTC. That makes it not an option so I never even have to ask myself if it would be worth it. That question is not valid in my mind set.

So my first lesson from KTC is all about the power of NOW.

You will never quit tomorrow for tomorrow never comes. A line in the sand is easily erased with the next rising tide. You will not be quit until you hit that NOW moment. When the carcinogen filled shit in your face is ejected for the last time and all your cans are disposed of in such a way you cannot get them back. Make that NOW commitment to your self and then go post roll, making that promise to your quit Brothers and Sisters that YOU ARE QUIT NOW.

By the way, my story began in high school when I bought my first can. That was 33 years ago. I had a 2 year quit 18 years ago but listened to the NIC Bitch when she told me that I was no longer addicted and just one with my cousin on a Pheasant hunt would be fitting. That was 16 years ago and have lived with shit in my face almost 100% of my waking hours since then.

I got tired of the spit cans all over the place and took to guttin’ it for the last 10 years or so which really made it a lot easier to hide. My Wife pointed me to this site on 9/1/2010 and the rest is recorded in my postings since then.

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member DizzyDude