Why I’m Not Celebrating Day 100

I think I will pass on celebrating Day 100. I’ve been past 100 before and caved. I’m afraid it could happen again.

I decided to quit in February when I saw the ad for the Colorado Quit Line. My “coach” recommended KTC for the articles, but didn’t mention anything about quit groups or posting roll daily. I wish I could say it was easier quitting with my May group. It wasn’t—it was still a bitch. I failed twice starting, then set a date and stuck to it. The first two weeks were hell. The cravings started to subside, then came back around Day 50. I’ve had cravings the past week leading up to Day 100.

The great thing about quitting with a group is the support and knowing others are going through the same things. Oh, and the entertainment in our somewhat dysfunctional May group distracted the cravings for a bit.

The daily focus on my nicotine addiction has helped me figure out why I caved on previous quits. A couple of times I don’t think I really wanted to quit. I was pleased that I had reduced my usage, then watched it go back to a can a day.

A couple other times I quit for a few months, then “had to” have a can to get through a stressful period. The last time I quit for about 120 days and was so confident I had kicked the habit that I thought I could have a dip here and there. I was wrong and back up to a can a day within a week.

I’ve figured out that I’m addicted to nicotine and can’t ever touch it again. I thought I wanted to quit for health reasons and my wife’s nagging, but realize I’m sick of allowing a silly drug to have control over me.

I’m not going to celebrate today. I’m going to focus on staying quit today, then tomorrow. But when I make it to one year, I’m going to party big time.

Thanks to Chewie for the warm welcome, all your work on this site, and for answering my stupid questions. Thanks to the May group for the support and entertainment. And thanks especially to nmc for your encouragement and PM’s. You are the kind of buddy that probably gets called at 2 a.m. to bail your friends out of jail.

Nomocope (No More Copenhagen, ever)

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member nomocope